Woran man erkennt das man schon zu lange hier ist ...
- When the foot prints on the toilet seat are your own
- Think it's normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m
- You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs
- You look four ways before crossing a one way street
- You realize ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATM's
- You put salt and chili on your fruit
- A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet
- You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car
- All your T shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar
- You can't remember the last time you wore a suit and tie
- You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire
- Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love, and you understand the analogy
- You aren't upset when the bar girl next to you eats beetles as a snack Later the same night, you actually kiss the bar girl who earlier dined on the beetles
- You haven’t had a solid stool for five years
- You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there
- You think white wine goes well with Som Tam
- You understand when your Thai wife says, My friend you or Same, same, but different
- A Thai bar girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away
- You believe that Phuket being named the crime capital of Asia is quirky
- You realize that your Thai wife's loyalties belong to; 1. Her parents 2. Her brats from a previous marriage to a Thai scum who deserted her 3. Any remaining blood relatives 4. The family buffalo 5. The family's goldfish 6.You
- The Thai Navy buys a new submarine and you're not surprised when the first thing they do is remove the mufflers and hang a garland from the rear view mirror
- You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory
- You start wearing slippers everywhere
- You start driving cars with bare feet
- You don't enjoy Songkran, instead, you stay home with a stack of DVD's
- You become an expert on buying and selling gold jewelry
- Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet
- When driving a car you'll start using every free inch of the road
- You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection
- It's two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside
- You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter S. Sanuk (Fun)
- You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual, or at least a form of foreplay
- You think a calendar more useful than a watch
- You go to a Thai Boxing match and a soccer game breaks out
- You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus
- You can't remember the last time you had a dry fart
- You think putting ice in red wine is normal
- You phone home and talk like a retard
- You don't care or know what day of the week it is
- You think 15 kb's of upload speed is quite fast
- You begin to think you actually are a Hansum Man
- You automatically without thinking swear in Thai
- You have a Thai nickname
- Lao Khao just doesn't do it for you any more, neither does Viagra
- You own a CD compilation with Crazy Frog on
- You don't have a problem kissing a ladyboy on the cheek
- You sit in a Bangkok bar surrounded by naked girls, porn on the big screen and you just watch the golf on the small screen in the corner
- You avoid walking under fruit laden coconut palms
- You avoid looking into a girls eyes longer than 3 seconds.
- Your hotel lets you in accompanied by 2 or 3 girls.
- You know where to buy booze on officially shut holidays.
- You realize your whisky and soda is rum based.
- You accept 5 on a motorbike when shopping is normal.
- You accept builders clambering up bamboo scaffolding with no boots or helmets.
- You count the number of passengers embarking on a ferry.
- You automatically get Chinese tea to accompany your coffee.
- Pedestrian crossings mean nothing.
- Nothing surprises you and things are not always what they seem.
- You realize Thai logic does not tally with Western logic.
- You don't believe anything they tell you.
