Habe dieser Tage diese herrlichen Gebote per Mail bekommen..leider kein zu erkennender Urheber vorhanden. Wer immer das mit wachem Auge und Verstand aufegezeichnet hat der weiss wohl wie es in Thaialnd laueft!:zwink
Also viel Spass beim Lesen und evtl. dikutieren..wobei natuerlich klar ist das gilt nur fuer alle anderen Barschwutten denn meine ist anders:zwink Oder etwa :wink1 doch nicht.....
Wollte es erst uebersetzen, wirkt aber im Original Bar Slang irgenwie besser...
The Bargirls Ten Commandments
1. Ask if buffalo (farang) live or work in Thailand. If he are, make deal quick. Is only small chance can put hand in wallet he so must agree go with him quick. He know too much so not easy, maybe have good contact, so if can trick or steal unless he very hansum or rich, make only short time and can return bar for find tourist. Tourist more profitable because can go back home country and send you money. If he are scruffy and smell and not think buy you drink, ask if he English teacher. If he English teacher, not give respect same give Thai teacher, and go find new customer. English teacher no exception jai rai, make month same we make week.
2. Give phone number and email to all customer (not English teacher because they call only want free boom boom). Even buffalo who smell bad and hairy back and buffalo not like shower can give contact detail. Encourage he contact you when return home country. When he send email, tell internet shop man can write say why he must send you money - sick buffalo, brother have accident, mama sick and cannot go temple, tsunami etc. Not worry, you not lie so not make bad karma. All this happen jing jing, only maybe not now or to you. Buffalo jai dee send 20,000 baht or more. Buffalo keeneow send less and speak $ weak, but it not really. $ colour same before. We see already and same colour, so not believe lie. Never give up. E-mail every month. After 6 month if he not send you money, say birthday you next week. All buffalo fall for that but maybe only miserable money like 5,000 baht. Cheap bastards.
3. Tell buffalo you not like Thai man because no good. Say "Thai man no good" to all customer. Many lady say same so buffalo hear and believe. If buffalo see you with pua (husband) drop you work on mosai or eat noodle soup after short time, can say this your brother. If buffalo young say you like young man because plenty boom boom. If buffalo old say you not like young man because too much boom boom.
4. If you not 25 year go salon make hair blonde or orange and put stud in nose, then apply work bar have customer Japanese. Baccarra in Soi Cowboy and Rainbow 2 and Rainbow 4 in Nana Plaza very good have plenty Japanese. Jap man number one because 4-4-4. 4-4-4 mean 4 inch, 4 minute, 4,000 baht. But must to make money quick from Jap man because him not same buffalo and not send money when go home. And Jap man him not speak English, even more not good same we, so not give contact detail because why you waste time try get money not come and can use same time for take money are from regular buffalo.
5. Have bad man try make same we not take money from buffalo. Be careful if man ask maak question, buy maak drink but not make barfine. He is devil. And not give man take photo digital camera because she put internet and everyone see. If buffalo send money to you and see photo inside internet maybe not send!
6. Buffalo roo maak. Thai language school same maak 711 and many buffalo come holiday can understand Thai. Not good man because listen and make same not understand when lady talk lady. When buffalo come bar you talk lady use Lao or Khmer because buffalo always try trick. But be careful, some buffalo understand Lao or Khmer, and they more tricky every time.
7. If have rich buffalo invite him village. Make sure whole village know will be dinner and free Lao when he come and everyone can invited. Not worry cost him pay. Make contract commission 10% with local restaurant and store before he come. Not let buffalo stay hotel, must stay family house, can feel life same traditional Thai. He much pity you and maybe offer make new house. Take Thai pua you to neighbour house till buffalo leave. If neighbour not want him tell buffalo this brother you. If already other buffalo make you house, take new buffalo to house uncle and introduce same family you. Maybe can get two house.
8. Buffalo not clever so you make for him easy. Find all office Western Union and Moneygram. Give free leaflet to buffalo so he know how can send money. Open two bank account, but have only one book stay you, and make balance only few baht not more 500. Make many small in and out and update book many time. Not give book to buffalo but make same he find for accident. When he find book you make same shy, but not too much because maybe he not look. Book for main account where you stay real money cannot see buffalo.
9. Make member '3am Club'. Every bar have 3am club. Make friend lady 3am club and take number phone all member. If lady go with customer, call she at 3am and speak where you stay. When phone ring she stay buffalo and make excuse go. Can say my friend lose key for loom, or mama come from province to visit me, or baby sick I go take care ban nok. Then lady come meet you and can go play card with money she get from buffalo, or go many lady hire nice hard Thai boy, or if have boyfriend or husband can go to him or take play card. Not worry about buffalo in hotel loom, when Thai lady make agree with buffalo it not count. Can say you must go but must collect money for long time service, because that is what you make agree at bar. If buffalo get angry not give, you make noise and shout. Hotel and other guest not like noise or ploplem at 3am. Can say you gonna smash laptop or camera. Can say you go police. If have balcony can say you gonna jump. If he not believe then put one leg over railings but make sure have solid grip on something, and not stop noise so people downstair look see you on balcony and buffalo look bad. Only few minute yell and scream can be different from 1,500 and 3,000 baht.
10. Have two mobile phone, one very old and cheap. Make sure buffalo only see cheap phone. If you stay long time, give him morning session he never forget in life then take him Tuk Com. After eat breakfast (order too much and take leftover home can eat later), take him Level 2 where have many mobile phone shop. Find expensive phone and touch and stare same you want but not say. Not forget have menthol, can touch to eye and make same you cry with tear. Make sure buffalo see you rub eye and hide tear. Not leave but can after he buy for you. If he keeneow jai rai no good man and not buy then you cry. Buffalo not like see Thai lady cry, and other farang think him no good. If him buy phone for you, stay with him and give good boom boom few day then go gold shop. Repeat same mobile shop till he buy gold. When he are leave for airport take phone and gold pawn shop, then you have money play card and give to boyfriend.
AMEN
Also viel Spass beim Lesen und evtl. dikutieren..wobei natuerlich klar ist das gilt nur fuer alle anderen Barschwutten denn meine ist anders:zwink Oder etwa :wink1 doch nicht.....
Wollte es erst uebersetzen, wirkt aber im Original Bar Slang irgenwie besser...
The Bargirls Ten Commandments
1. Ask if buffalo (farang) live or work in Thailand. If he are, make deal quick. Is only small chance can put hand in wallet he so must agree go with him quick. He know too much so not easy, maybe have good contact, so if can trick or steal unless he very hansum or rich, make only short time and can return bar for find tourist. Tourist more profitable because can go back home country and send you money. If he are scruffy and smell and not think buy you drink, ask if he English teacher. If he English teacher, not give respect same give Thai teacher, and go find new customer. English teacher no exception jai rai, make month same we make week.
2. Give phone number and email to all customer (not English teacher because they call only want free boom boom). Even buffalo who smell bad and hairy back and buffalo not like shower can give contact detail. Encourage he contact you when return home country. When he send email, tell internet shop man can write say why he must send you money - sick buffalo, brother have accident, mama sick and cannot go temple, tsunami etc. Not worry, you not lie so not make bad karma. All this happen jing jing, only maybe not now or to you. Buffalo jai dee send 20,000 baht or more. Buffalo keeneow send less and speak $ weak, but it not really. $ colour same before. We see already and same colour, so not believe lie. Never give up. E-mail every month. After 6 month if he not send you money, say birthday you next week. All buffalo fall for that but maybe only miserable money like 5,000 baht. Cheap bastards.
3. Tell buffalo you not like Thai man because no good. Say "Thai man no good" to all customer. Many lady say same so buffalo hear and believe. If buffalo see you with pua (husband) drop you work on mosai or eat noodle soup after short time, can say this your brother. If buffalo young say you like young man because plenty boom boom. If buffalo old say you not like young man because too much boom boom.
4. If you not 25 year go salon make hair blonde or orange and put stud in nose, then apply work bar have customer Japanese. Baccarra in Soi Cowboy and Rainbow 2 and Rainbow 4 in Nana Plaza very good have plenty Japanese. Jap man number one because 4-4-4. 4-4-4 mean 4 inch, 4 minute, 4,000 baht. But must to make money quick from Jap man because him not same buffalo and not send money when go home. And Jap man him not speak English, even more not good same we, so not give contact detail because why you waste time try get money not come and can use same time for take money are from regular buffalo.
5. Have bad man try make same we not take money from buffalo. Be careful if man ask maak question, buy maak drink but not make barfine. He is devil. And not give man take photo digital camera because she put internet and everyone see. If buffalo send money to you and see photo inside internet maybe not send!
6. Buffalo roo maak. Thai language school same maak 711 and many buffalo come holiday can understand Thai. Not good man because listen and make same not understand when lady talk lady. When buffalo come bar you talk lady use Lao or Khmer because buffalo always try trick. But be careful, some buffalo understand Lao or Khmer, and they more tricky every time.
7. If have rich buffalo invite him village. Make sure whole village know will be dinner and free Lao when he come and everyone can invited. Not worry cost him pay. Make contract commission 10% with local restaurant and store before he come. Not let buffalo stay hotel, must stay family house, can feel life same traditional Thai. He much pity you and maybe offer make new house. Take Thai pua you to neighbour house till buffalo leave. If neighbour not want him tell buffalo this brother you. If already other buffalo make you house, take new buffalo to house uncle and introduce same family you. Maybe can get two house.
8. Buffalo not clever so you make for him easy. Find all office Western Union and Moneygram. Give free leaflet to buffalo so he know how can send money. Open two bank account, but have only one book stay you, and make balance only few baht not more 500. Make many small in and out and update book many time. Not give book to buffalo but make same he find for accident. When he find book you make same shy, but not too much because maybe he not look. Book for main account where you stay real money cannot see buffalo.
9. Make member '3am Club'. Every bar have 3am club. Make friend lady 3am club and take number phone all member. If lady go with customer, call she at 3am and speak where you stay. When phone ring she stay buffalo and make excuse go. Can say my friend lose key for loom, or mama come from province to visit me, or baby sick I go take care ban nok. Then lady come meet you and can go play card with money she get from buffalo, or go many lady hire nice hard Thai boy, or if have boyfriend or husband can go to him or take play card. Not worry about buffalo in hotel loom, when Thai lady make agree with buffalo it not count. Can say you must go but must collect money for long time service, because that is what you make agree at bar. If buffalo get angry not give, you make noise and shout. Hotel and other guest not like noise or ploplem at 3am. Can say you gonna smash laptop or camera. Can say you go police. If have balcony can say you gonna jump. If he not believe then put one leg over railings but make sure have solid grip on something, and not stop noise so people downstair look see you on balcony and buffalo look bad. Only few minute yell and scream can be different from 1,500 and 3,000 baht.
10. Have two mobile phone, one very old and cheap. Make sure buffalo only see cheap phone. If you stay long time, give him morning session he never forget in life then take him Tuk Com. After eat breakfast (order too much and take leftover home can eat later), take him Level 2 where have many mobile phone shop. Find expensive phone and touch and stare same you want but not say. Not forget have menthol, can touch to eye and make same you cry with tear. Make sure buffalo see you rub eye and hide tear. Not leave but can after he buy for you. If he keeneow jai rai no good man and not buy then you cry. Buffalo not like see Thai lady cry, and other farang think him no good. If him buy phone for you, stay with him and give good boom boom few day then go gold shop. Repeat same mobile shop till he buy gold. When he are leave for airport take phone and gold pawn shop, then you have money play card and give to boyfriend.
AMEN
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da lodert der ganze Wald .Habe noch nie soviel Wahres in so kurzer Zeit gelesen..Sollte eigentlich allen Erstbesuchern am Flughafen ausgehaendigt werden:zwink
